Communications

Them that are here, that were there (americika), talk like they’ve been stranded on an Island for 2 years. Not only do they blither insistently with such a ferocity that precludes interaction, they rave. Every other sentence shifts subject sonorously, to lambaste government policy, proclaim national pharmaceutical farming, or expound on tourism unrealized. The declarations, denouncements and dissertations begin to lay on you like the heat of the day. You become torpid, indifferent to interaction, much less argument. What can you counter to the ministry of Agriculture’s secret plot to give Mayan children tapeworms? To what can you add to the construction of shabby hotels for laundering drug money, staffed with thorough bred thugs, killing the night club scene with gun battles. Where do you interject on that subject.

All these ex-pats are ranters. Is it because you are fresh mental meat? Their surrounding population dulled by the struggle for some chicken dollars, carrying the bags of a 1st worlder, wondering if an alley bushwhacking is possible.
The ex-pats are experts in descriptions of “I”. I ran the greatest business. I went to Zambooligia Creek. I was the MickdeMofo there. I this, I that. Pedantic. Boring Annoying.

In contrast, the Spaniard never bothers to engage you. No eye contact, no smiles, no words. As though you were invisible .. two will yammer together like the sound of hail on the roof. Entirely unintelligible.

The Carib is polite. Looks right at yo a nd says something nice like “Ow you be doing dis day siahh?” This could be genuinely polite, but usually the lead in to a tap for a few bucks. Sometimes you give in to their incessant “Plaheezz Mahn Plaheezz Mahn Plaheezz Mahn”. It sounds so desperate and sincere. Other times you tell the begger to bugg off with a breathy snarl. But the beggars are a tiny proportion. Many other interactions with fine people is more the rule. It’s obvious t5hat they clean up their language quite a bit in your company. In fact, they often repeat themselves. He asks … “How are you today Diane?” “ Be fine, be fine” and back “ How you do Mr. Larry, Mr. Larry” Like there was two of him. When two consider that they are out of English range, their lips erupt like they were spitting flies. “Oh beabya bee beep bahhabantan beyu, ball be.” Not unlike bubbles blown from beneath, rising to a froth of musical sound.

There are other communications here, fists kissed in mid air, the full box of chicklets smile, the passing nod. Even the non human talk, the screeching whistling crow relative, the lizard darting and bobbing, and even the busses.

What at first appeared to be New York cab etiquette, honking maniacally at every nano second delay. Soon a pattern emerges. 2 honks says I’m passing you at 75 on this 40 year old 10 foot wide lane. I don’t care what’s ahead. One honk says, Yeah, go ahead, I’ll let ya plaster yourself, thanks for letting me know. # honks from the panicked passer says “I can’t make it due to the oncoming fuel truck. Collision and explosion are eminent within seconds. I’m falling back.” A solo honk from the passee may respond. 4 honks is generally reserved for obstructions in the path .. like people. Frequently and excess of 4 honks is used when speeding through town at 75. They seem to be saying .. “Get the fuck out of my way! I’m insane and out of control. I’ll kill you all!”